Sunday, June 5, 2011

Guest Post & Book Giveaway w/Evelyn LaFont: Sex, Alcohol and Romance Heroines

Today, we are excited and honored to have a guest post on the blog from the fabulous and always funny, Evelyn LaFont. Evelyn is the author of The Vampire Relationship Guide and creator of the new e-zine,

Because she is so awesome, Evelyn is giving one ecopy of her book, The Vampire Relationship Guide, to a lucky winner. So, read her guest post and then fill out the form for the giveaway. Enjoy!

Sex, Alcohol and Romance Heroines

Hi, my name is Evelyn and I like sex. And alcohol. And dirty jokes. And swearing. But I’m not a slutty, alcoholic sailor filling minds with dangerously degenerate sexual imagery, I swear. I’m really…pretty average. I’ve been married for 13 years, I’ve never had an affair, I keep a relatively clean home and I know how to act right in public.

So if I—an average mortal woman—can handle this dichotomy of personality points then why the hell can’t the human women we read about in our romance novels? Sure, some of them have one or two of the above…um…idiosyncrasies, but they never have all of them. One heroine drinks a bit but can’t actually get drunk and is totally virginal. Another doesn’t drink AND is a virgin, and all the rest have had sex with a couple of people but aren’t used to licking taint or anything even remotely different from eyes-clenched-shut missionary sex.

Yeah, I’m painting some pretty broad brush strokes here, I mean, I haven’t read every mainstream romance or PNR series out there but still, can’t us average sexual, potty mouthed, drinking WOMEN have some representation?

Instead, we are often stuck with heroines we love, but who we haven’t really been able to identify with since we turned 16. Since we are making a conscious effort NOT to read YA when we pick up adult romance and PNR books, I can’t help but wonder about this curious lack of characters with a normal, scratch-and-dent moral fiber.

Is it because we feel guilty for not being, “clean?” And by we, of course, I mean someone else because I know that you and I don’t feel guilty about having a happy and healthy sex drive, getting our drunk on and telling the occasional joke that would make a circus-elephant-poop-sweeper blush.

Luckily, the emergence of indie authors into the mainstream could be just the key to readers getting access to a much more diverse selection of heroines who represent the average woman. Josie, the heroine of my Vampire Relationship Guide series, has an active sexual past and in book one, is really focused on adding vampire sex to her list of conquests. Of course, like a normal woman, she does have some mixed emotions involving the possibility that she might look slutty in her search for coffin coitus, but trust me, she gets over it, and it’s magazines like VampLure (which you human women can read too at that helped her get over the moral…hump. Kind of like Cosmo does for us dirty, old, married ladies.

Evelyn Lafont is an author and freelance writer with an addiction to Xanax and a predilection for snark. Her debut novella, The Vampire Relationship Guide, Volume 1: Meeting and Mating is a comedy about dating, sexing, and living with vampires and is available on Amazon, Barnes and Noble and Smashwords. She has also developed a monthly e-zine to accompany the series, which can be found at

On to the Giveaway! This contest will be open June 5-June 15. Fill out the form, the winner will be chosen using I will notify the winner and Evelyn LaFont via email. The winner will then be given a code for the free ebook. This contest is international. Good Luck!
Josie wants what she's never been able to have--sex with a vampire. When she receives an invitation to a party thrown by one of the world's richest vamps, she doesn't stop to question her luck; she just jumps into her favorite stilettos and heads out to the event of a lifetime, secretly hoping that she'll come home with a party favor in the shape of a sexy coffin dweller.

But the great undead, much to Josie's chagrin, aren't just pale sexbots with pointy teeth waiting to satisfy her carnal desires; they are dangerous--and sometimes cranky. With a single-minded focus on fulfilling her sole sexual longing, Josie unwittingly entrenches herself in the twisted and sometimes antagonistic world of vampire relationships with no one to guide her, but herself. ~From GoodReads


  1. Hehe, no surprise that you're a raving sex addict Evelyn. ;D

    Great guest post! Just here to comment. I already have this awesome book. :)

  2. Evelyn- So glad to have you! I've read it about 5 times now!

  3. LMAO Andrea :-) THanks Katja and yeah...I'd say no one is surprised :-D

  4. Funny post, as always, Evelyn. I don't mind heroines with a past, but the tongue-wagging Sex in the City-type cougar sluts from hell, trolling for manmeat really irk me. I'm not at all interested in women who act like horny teenage boys - I have me for that. I prefer women with a bit more sophistication who come off as having half a brain. Heroines can have a sexual past, get drunk, and act stupid occasionally, but don't beat me over the head with that inanity on every page. A little substance, please.

  5. Kendalll- Obce again you have me laughing like an idiot. I love your bluntness!

  6. Like any good character, they totally need to have several dimensions, I definitely agree Kendall :-)

  7. LOL not entering I have this book, oh so that's the reason I could relate to Josie so well :)

  8. Thanks for doing the giveaway! I would love to win this book.


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