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Friday, June 13, 2014

SEXY SATURDAYS: SUBSTITUTE by ISOBEL REY



 
Sexy Saturdays with Andrea and Autumn is a weekly feature created to spread the word about spicy reads. 

Participating blogs:
 
Substitute
Series:  Standalone
Genre: Erotic Romance
Series:  Standalone
Genre: Erotic Romance
Publisher: Sourcebooks Casa
Publication Date: 6/3/14
Format: ARC
Pages: 272
Source: Publisher
Rating: 2.5 stars




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It took all of Alexia’s courage to leave her abusive boyfriend. When old school-friend Romy offers her a temp job at the glamorous London sports agency where she works, Alexia thinks she is saved. But shy, blonde and beautiful, she is totally unprepared for the fast sexual politics of rich sports men, big money and ambitious women.

After witnessing junior agent Tony having sex on the boss’s table, her dormant sexuality is awakened with a violence that frightens her. Tony’s sees her need and Alexia finds herself almost giving in to his desire to dominate her. But despite his devastating sexual charisma, she only has eyes for the boss.

Nathan Fallon is the ex army officer, dazzling but damaged, who has risen to the top of the cut-throat world of sports agents. But he thinks she’s Tony’s latest conquest. Desperate to win his respect, Alexia agrees to become his substitute PA for a week. But Alexia finds herself trapped between one man bent on bending her to his sexual will, and another she cannot read. Can she navigate this whirlpool of fame, money, and sex to fend off Tony long enough to win Nathan?


My Review
 
Ah, okay. I was not a big fan of Substitute. It wasn't that I actively disliked the story or the writing, in fact, I felt compelled to keep going to the very end. It's just, I could not get behind the love story, a lot of the heroine's actions, all the WTF-ery, and the nonsense that was the workplace.


Let me briefly explain.


Alexia has finally found the courage to run away from her brutish boyfriend. Her old friend sets up her up with a place to live and work at the same sports agency. Now, you would think this place was ran by Joe Francis because it might as well be called Employees Gone Wild. These people don't work to hard at being good agents, as far as I can tell, they're too busy going at it on any non-moving surface they land on. When she witnesses two fellow employees going at it at an office party, Alexia's sexuality comes roaring to the forefront. And by roaring, I mean gushing. It seems our girl Alexia is a random squirter/gusher/flooder/leaker/etc. Poor girl, she can't get within ten feet of a virile man without springing a leak downtown. It's so bad that she has to worry about leaving damp areas on her clothes or anything she's sitting on. I mean, give the girl a wet floor sign and a squeegee, please. And as if that wasn't bad enough, I think Alexia has a bad case of idle hands. Every time the thought of sex comes remotely near her mind, she's got her hand down her knickers faster than you can say "masturbation makes you deaf". It doesn't matter where she is or who's around, when Alexia decides to rub one off, it's all hands down below.


So, cool. Alexia is in charge of her sexual agency. I can get down with that. But I just don't understand why I'm supposed to believe she is desperately in love with her boss Nathan when she's nearly boning (not having sex, though) every guy she knows. And to be clear: I don't care if she's getting busy with other guys. In fact, go for it girl! My issues is with the fact I'm supposed to buy that she is in love with desperately in love with Nathan. And these poor guys...apparently no man is immune to Alexia's ethereal, icy beauty because they're all springing boners every time they're graced with her presence. And I do mean every. single. time.


You have Tony, fellow employee whom she caught doing his superior. Tony figures out Alexia is a watcher and he's constantly forcing her to watch with him. While he sticks his hands up her skirt and rubs himself on her. This dude was slightly rapey, y'all. I say slightly because she never told him no and actually seemed to enjoy herself, but man, he was one of those sleezy guys that just know you want it so bad. And then you have Richard, who was actually a nice guy. He knew her all of about fifteen minutes before he tried to mount Alexia. Once he figured out she was hot for boss, Richard put it upon himself to teach Alexia about her sexuality, be it getting her off or teaching her how to get him off. But still, he was probably the nicest guy of the bunch. And then we have Nathan, the boss man Alexia is so in love with. Surprisingly, he's the guy she is the least physical with. Nathan is a nice boss, but aloof. It's clear he's attracted to Alexia, but his "secret pain" keeps him closed off. As does continually finding her in compromising positions with Tony.


Every one knows Alexia and Nathan belong together. She does, her best friend does, a colleague does, all despite the two sharing very little page time. Combining that with her extra-curricular activities with Tony and Richard, I'm not sure exactly why I was supposed to believe they were destined to end up together. I tried very hard to turn my brain off and enjoy it for a salacious erotic story, but I don't know... I just didn't feel it.


So, that wasn't actually brief at all. Huh. I didn't plan to go on and on about Substitute, but I did have a lot to say. My poor husband is probably glad I decided to put it all into my review because I spent a good part of his lunch filling him in on all the squishy details. I didn't hate the Substitute. I didn't even strongly dislike it. I just didn't get it. Or maybe I got it to some extent, but I couldn't get behind it. And now I'm confusing myself. I will say I was entertained.


Substitute didn't fully work for me, but if you're willing to give a steamy, crazy story a try, it may work for you.


 
 



13 comments:

  1. I'm sorry it wasn't for you and I confess that I'm not sure it's for me either... But thanks for your review, it's a new one for me.

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  2. "I mean, give the girl a wet floor sign and a squeegee, please."

    I laughed so much while reading this! See, this is the kind of story that gets on my nerves too. Why would you screw other people when you're trying to show someone else you want them instead? I don't get and that's why I go on my rants! Do you get it now? Lmao! This was one of your best reviews!

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  3. Absolutely want to read this book! Erotica is one of my favorite genre, seriously who doesn't love a hot naughty read :-)

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  4. thanks for the honest review. I've read some mixed reviews for this book. I'm willing to give it a try though ;) Thanks for sharing!

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  5. Bwahaha! Maybe she has a malfunction or something like those people who always have to have an orgasm? I'm not kidding, i saw it on Discovery one time like women who could climax multiple times a day and it's so horrible! Multiple O's aren't as great after all

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  6. It does seem like a book that I would enjoy very much. Thanks for having the giveaway.

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  7. Joe Francis LOL. Oh my gosh, this doesn't sound all that appealing, yet it does. I don't know, I think I'll pass.

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  8. I love to read it!!! looking forward!!!!!

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  9. Interesting ... I would give a try!

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  10. It might be worth the read for the giggle factor?!? Geez!

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